I wrote my previous post about Bumble on Friday, and then on Saturday morning I started wondering whether I hadn't been a little too dismissive of my date. It takes time to get to know someone, and surely it's better to let feelings develop slowly rather than be controlled by initial gut reactions.
October was a crazy month. Too much work, too little time.
So for a little escape, I started messing around on Bumble (an online dating app). Mostly just to see if I felt ready to meet someone new after splitting up with my husband this past spring. I'm pretty happy being single right now, but there are definitely times when I would love to go out for a drink or a movie. I've started making some new friends in the area to do exactly that, but occasionally hanging out with a guy sounds nice too.
Dating apps (or even apps for that matter) didn't exist when I first started dating my husband back in college. So my experience with Bumble is totally new, and I have to say it's a little horrifying and a little addictive. I really dislike this idea of swiping "left" (rejected) or "right" (interested) based on only a few pictures and maybe a sentence or two of information. And then there's the volume of people on the app. It can make finding someone nice feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. So I've had to come up with some "deal breakers" to make the process of a little easier.
Here's what will cause me to swipe left:
-If you're smoking a cigar
-Wearing boat shoes
-Posing without a shirt.
-Posing for a selfie in front of Machu Pichu.
I think the guys who do this think they're really unique and cool for having visited there, but they have no idea how insanely common it is on the app. Seriously, probably 1 in every 10 profiles I look at has a selfie from the exact same spot at Machu Pichu. No shade to the place, I'm sure it's amazing, but when that many people start doing the same thing - I start getting a douchey vibe.
Also, I don't think traveling inherently makes you an interesting or good person. Sure, I like to travel, but there are other things I like to do too. Yet for some people travel is a really high value for them. So clearly, we wouldn't be very compatible. That's kind of my real reasoning behind rejecting those Machu Pichu-style travel pictures I keep seeing.
I asked a guy friend who's on Bumble what it's like from the male perspective. He said way too many women post images of themselves using snap chat filters. Frankly, that sounds worse than too many Machu Pichu pics. What a strange world we live in.
But you'd be proud. I messaged a few guys and have gone on one date already. He seemed perfectly nice, polite, cute, smart, etc., but I have to say, I didn't "feel" anything. By any measure, the date was a success - we talked non-stop for 2.5 hours. But afterwards, I felt like if I never saw him again, I wouldn't care. I didn't dislike him, I just felt indifferent, even though on paper we had a lot in common.
Maybe that means I'm not quite ready yet.
Do you use Bumble? What are your deal breakers? I mean, it's a superficial app, so you're going to have superficial deal breakers, right?
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