I have a hard time getting started on work. Sometimes, I'll wind up dithering away one or two hours before I finally start editing. It sucks, because those one or two hours come out of my personal writing time. And every day I tell myself I'm not going to procrastinate (except it's not even procrastination exactly, it's more of this inability to start anything), but I usually wind up doing it again. I've struggled with this since I was kid. Writing school essays was never hard. It was starting the essay that would send me into a near panic every. single. time. And then once I got over that panicky hurdle, I'd be perfectly fine again. It's a weird type of anxiety.
On election night, I didn't go to bed until close to 2 am. It took me that long to accept that Clinton had lost. And as I was curling up under the covers, this thought popped into my head: "I just want to disappear into my story."
The other day, my husband and I were driving home from D.C. It's a long drive, and sometimes when I'm bored, I think of things that make me laugh.
"What are you laughing about?" my husband would ask.
"Oh, just about how I used to play basketball in a turtleneck."
Many miles later:
"What are you laughing about now?"
So I told him the story about the time I was in the bathroom at my old job when I overheard a student ask another girl if she had a tampon. She didn't. But I always kept a tampon hidden in the bathroom, behind this random bowl of potpourri. So I opened the stall door and said, "I have one!" and showed them my hidden stash.
"Did they think that was weird?"
And that's why I was laughing, because it was only at that moment, sitting in the car somewhere on I-85 did I realize that eavesdropping + popping out of a random bathroom stall + revealing a hidden tampon might be considered a little strange...
"I think they were equal parts horrified and grateful."
My pets have weird nicknames:
Hans (grey cat): Hansy, Dazzler, Gremlin Cat (he's very impish)
Bunbun (siamese cat): Bunny, Buntaro, the Bunbun (we joke that he's so dumb, he doesn't understand that "Bunbun" is his name, not his species)
Hammie (german shepherd): Ham Sandwich, Hamberlina Jolie, Muffin Chomper, Nose Tube (cause her head is pretty much just a giant tube for her nose).
I don't know why I felt like writing these thoughts down. They've been bouncing around in my head for a few days. Maybe it will be fun to read them again later.